


Ford and Arthur Tea Drabble

by klatukatt



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Friendship, I love tea, Tea, graphic descriptions of tea, i love tea so much i wrote this fic all about how much i love tea, i love tea too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klatukatt/pseuds/klatukatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur discovers his new friend Ford has never had tea.<br/>Warning: Graphic descriptions of tea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ford and Arthur Tea Drabble

“You’ve never had tea before?” Arthur asked wide eyed. “You’re Brittish!”

“I’ve been abroad.” Ford found this answer worked most of the time when humans questioned his lack of experience in certain areas. They were all so caught up with their own cultural literacy that they were offended by ignorance!

“Well that could explain why I never can place your accent. Certainly if you were traveling in America you would never have tried a cup of tea.” Arthur chuckled and Ford smiled as if in on the joke. “I will make you a proper English cup of tea and I promise you will love it. We are genetically predisposed to it.”

This time Ford laughed.

\---

There was a whole elaborate presentation to making the tea. First the tea “set” had to be pulled down from the cupboard and arranged on the table; the tea “kettle” had to be filled and heated; the tea “cups” and “saucers” had to be wiped clean of dust; the tea “pot” had to be rinsed and heated as well; the sugar and cream bowls had to be filled; the tea “cosy” had to be fluffed.

It was greatly amusing to Ford the passion Arthur put into this ritual. He had learned that humans needed a great deal of rituals, be they religious or domestic, to add some sort of order to the chaos of the universe. He could write a philosophical article but the Guide would never publish it. 

Now the tea was “brewing” meaning the old dried leaves were sitting in hot water and “infusing” their flavor. The old egg timer went off and Arthur hurried to remove the strainer from the pot with various subtle “Ow!”s as his fingers nervously picked at the hot metal.

“The thing about Americans is they leave the tea leaves in for too long which causes the tea to get bitter as the tannins break down.”

Ford had never heard Arthur talk this much. He poured a splash of milk into each of the teacups.

“This cools down the cups so the scalding tea doesn’t break the china.” Arthur poured the tea. “Now you may add sugar but I suggest you try it without first to see how you like it.”

Ford blew on the hot liquid and casually looked up to Arthur’s excited eyes. Oh, he was going to have fun with this.

“Oh my.” Ford’s eyes went wide after the first sip. “This… this is brilliant!” Another sip. “I can’t believe I have never tried it before!” The next sip turned into a gulp. “Have you tried this?” He drained the cup and grabbed the teapot for more.

“Careful, Ford, it is quite hot.” Arthur was confused and a little alarmed.

Instead of pouring more tea into the cup Ford brought the teapot straight to his mouth and gagged as he tried to swallow the fluid gushing out of the spout. “I can’t help it! I must have more!”

Ford fell to the ground as he guzzled burning tea, splashing it everywhere in his wake. He managed not to break the pot as he flailed in, somewhat, mock agony, leaving Arthur paralyzed with concern.

“Argh! It burns!” Ford looked directly at Arthur, his eyes full of glee. “But I just. Love. Tea.”

 

And that was the punchline. Arthur later tried to explain to Ford how the joke was not very humorous but it was, he thought secretly, very Ford.

**Author's Note:**

> I love tea. A lot.  
> I was inspired to write this because the other day I literally drank tea from the teapot (which was fortunately cool) and thought to myself "Who would do this crazy thing? Ford. Ford would do this."


End file.
